Be Concrete
Your writing won’t make an impact if your reader doesn’t understand it to begin with. One of the best ways to make sure your message doesn’t get lost is to use concrete language whenever possible.
When we first become writers as children, we do this fairly well. Second-grade me might have written, for example, “My family has a cat named Betty. She is gray and white. Sometimes she throws up behind the TV right before we have company. This makes my mom sad.” Not exactly Pulitzer-caliber material, but the reader has a clear understanding of who Betty is and why she is a questionable choice as a family pet.
As we get older, we encounter concepts that are more difficult to see and feel: Equilibrium. Justice. Linear relationships. Consensus. We learn to expand our language to accommodate these abstract ideas. That’s as it should be. Many things worth writing about are difficult or impossible to describe using our five senses.
Somewhere along the way, though, many of us also come to believe that abstract language is always better than concrete. We may even think that if a text sounds vague and confusing, it’s more sophisticated than a text that is clear and specific.
Consider the following description of a nonprofit organization. I’m making it up, but it’s representative of what you might see on a grant proposal:
Organization X accelerates educational outcomes using an innovative networked model of support. By leveraging the strengths of our partners through a shared platform, we provide students with a streamlined, impactful learning experience.
Sounds professional, right? If nothing else, it has a decent chance at scoring five in a row in a game of Buzzword Bingo: Innovative! Networked! Leveraging! Platform! Impactful!
But what does the organization actually do? Whom does it serve, and what results is it designed to produce? How does the model work? These are important questions that need to be answered in concrete language. The (imaginary) applicant would be better served offering a description like this:
Organization X provides elementary school students who struggle to read with the academic and social support they need to master grade-level texts. Through our online program, students access live tutoring and mentoring, complete learning activities, and receive immediate feedback on their progress. Students served by Organization X are 50% more likely than their peers to read on grade level by the end of the school year.
This version still leaves questions to be answered, but it gives the reviewer a much better foundation for understanding the remainder of the proposal. Without sacrificing the professional tone, this description uses specific language and concrete details to help the reader grasp the organization’s purpose.
The next time you write for a professional audience, take a look at your language. Is your message clear, or is it obscured by abstract words that sound intelligent but don’t mean much?